I read an op ed a while back talking about how millennial tend to burnout much quicker than previous generations. They explained it through the fact that there’s an intense and constant amount of pressure on the average millennial to achieve more – to work harder, to gain recognition, and to command respect. While as a generality I tend to dislike grouping entire generations into one singular stereotype, I feel that this idea has some merit due to the current competitive climate we live in.

I don’t technically fit into the millennial age group. A quick google search says that millennials were born between the years of 1981-1996 (source), so I’m 4 years too late. That doesn’t excuse me from experiencing much of the same structural pressures that millennials face, albeit in a different setting.

As a university student, I’m constantly placed in positions where I have to compare myself and my achievements to others around me. That’s not a problem in and of itself – of course the environment of academia is going to end up placing me in direct competition with other students. There are only so many resources and opportunities to go around. The problem only begins to arise with the culture that this competition breeds.

This is the same toxic culture that permeates tech companies and makes silicon valley such an awful place to work. At its essence, it’s the idea of “10x”: you should be able to get 10x the amount of work done by simply changing how you work. Obviously, this is bullshit (to put it nicely). Nobody can magically produce 10x more work than the next person just by having a magical perspective.

In academia, 10x manifests itself in that undergrads are pushed to do 10x more than the next student. Any average student can take 17 credit hours a semester, but not every student has the ability or sleep schedule to take 17 credit hours on top of clubs, internship applications, volunteering, jobs, study abroad opportunities, research, and a social life. In reality, no student should force themselves to stretch this thin – yet this level of intensity is readily encouraged by universities. It fits nicely into the idea of burnout culture.

It becomes overwhelmingly important to be able to filter out the useful from the innate and stressful. I’m not sure if everyone had this same experience, but the second I entered university as a freshman it seemed like everyone expected me to have a fully polished resume and to know exactly the kind of work that I want to do. In reality, my resume was less than half a page long (pro-tip: if you don’t have job experience, companies like to see side projects on your resume) and all I knew was that I liked computers. Immediately I was up against people who wear suit jackets and use size 4 font to fit everything they’ve done on their resumes. Here’s where I had to start filtering things out: do I really want to pay attention to what other people are doing?

I hit a bit of a dilemma when I realized that I don’t fit in with the formal dress, highly experienced, opportunity driven crowd. I can’t ever see myself being like that. It’s not that I don’t have experience – I just can’t see myself being defined by those things. So I just did what I wanted to do. I went to the events that I wanted to go to and I put only the things I was passionate about on my resume. I wore flannels instead of suit jackets, and hell, I stopped taking CS classes all together.

It’s stupid difficult to stop comparing yourself to other people in an environment like this. As someone who already has an anxiety disorder, I can’t stop myself from freaking out over the what-if’s sometimes. “What if I dressed a little nicer to this career fair?” “What if I got a little bit better sleep?” “What if I volunteered a little bit of my time?” As dumb as it is, it’s hard not to feel a little bit helpless when there are people only a year or two older than me who have an entire professional backstory while I have nothing but a Github account to my name.

Worst of all are the feelings like I’m shutting myself out of opportunities. Sometimes it’s smart to turn things down when you know they aren’t going to be good for your well being in the long run – and that’s okay! It’s not worth your happiness to throw yourself away for some unattainable perfection. This isn’t me repeating the age-old cliche of failing countless times before you succeed. This is me saying that the happiest I’ve been is when I realized that I don’t have to do everything. I started doing only what I wanted to do, and putting all my time and energy into those things. And this is the important part: people noticed. I may not have companies barging down my door to hire me; but I have faculty members I’m working closely with, I’m in classes and doing activities that I’m really passionate about, and I’m getting to do theatre again. I couldn’t ask for much more out of my university experience even if I really don’t have everything figured out.

The tl;dr here is to bear down ;) on things that make you happy and don’t be afraid to drop much of everything else. Your time at college will be better, and you’ll naturally gain work-ready experience in areas that you enjoy.